The Norma Diaries

Dear Diary, In an effort to beat the heat again. I cruised around the barn to visit with one of my friends. RJ is 2 doors down and a pretty low key kind of guy. We chatted for a while and I tried to let him out, but Lisa was right there and I got busted. I did my best to be sneaky, but she said it was obvious by my eye. What the heck is she talking about? She said my Normatude was out in full force…WHATEVER! There has been no pool construction, no cabana boys, and no cool breeze! I was hoping that RJ would help me, but he just stood there looking less than brilliant. How can I be a superstar when I am surrounded by duds? Lisa said I am just hot and crabby. Maybe, but I can’t believe that princesses have to put up with this heat. I am PERSPIRING!!! I hope tomorrow is a better day. ~Flying with turkeys, Norma

Dear Diary,I thought yesterday was hot but holy guacamole it was hot again today! My cabana boy didn’t show up to fan me again. ? Good help is so hard to find these days. So I got in front of the fan for a little breeze through my mane. It really helped. Natalie said I was acting like Beyoncé. Diary I don’t know if that’s good or bad, but either way, I’m thinking she has a lot of Normatude too! Lisa was out early to beat the heat. I am really glad she got my training time in so I could hang out and not get too hot. She said the heat advisory is off on Wednesday. I am ready for that fog to come in. Either I need a more temperate place to live or a swimming pool in the back of my stall. I have requested construction to start IMMEDIATELY! Lisa laughed and said she’d get right on that. I am learning about human sarcasm. -Beyonce Norma

Dear Diary, Holy Heatwave, Batman!!! Yesterday was ridiculously hot and today….well my princessness was melted! I must say that Norma-tude Monday was in full swing. I got a rinse off to help cool me down, but I really didn’t want to be bothered! I just wanted to be left alone sweaty and grumpy! Why is it when you’re already in a grumpy mood, everyone insists on irritating you more? I asked Lisa to get me a Normatude gauge. Kind of like a temperature gauge, only this one tells people when my Normatude is VERY HIGH, HIGH, MODERATE, MILD, VERY LOW. I did have a fan in the alleyway pushing air to me and Toast, I have to admit, the rinse off may have helped a bitty-poo. BUT, a princess should be allowed to be grumpy when it’s miserably hot!! My Normatude registered VERY HIGH on the scale today! Where the heck was that darn cabana boy? I NEEDED fanning with palm fronds and cold beverage with a cute little umbrella! ~One Hot Norma

Dear Diary, I have only two days to left before summer school starts so I grabbed my tube and my shovel and I’m headed to the lake next door. I can’t find my sunglasses but I know I had them when I was celebrating my graduation, I must have set them down and now I lost them. Good thing they weren’t my Maui Jim ‘s…Lisa would kill me!! It’s nice because Lisa is off and not bugging me. (Thank Goodness) I’m sure she’ll be on the warpath when it’s time to start! It been crazy hot and I am ready for a cool off! I need my cabana boy and cool refreshments! I wonder if I need more sunscreen??~ lake side Norma

Dear Diary, Yesterday was so much fun with my graduation and all my friends that surprised me and came to my new place. I didn’t want to wake up at all today and when I finally did, I realized I must have fallen asleep with my party hat on.  I requested multiple cups of coffee which, as usual, I didn’t get. I know I am supposed to be a ray of sunshine, but Diary I am exhausted and have way more Norma-tude than I should. Lisa said I am overly tired from my big day and I didn’t have to do much for the next few days. Summer lessons start next week, and I must get back into the training mode. Lisa calls it summer school. I think I need more sleep. I was up talking with Toast about my new adventures all night, he’s grumpy too this morning. Too much graduation excitement I guess! ~Overly tired Norma

Here I am WORLD I have graduated?

Dearest Diary!! What a complete surprise! I had no idea that Lisa meant I would have my own website, Facebook, and Instagram sites when she said I was graduating. This is really a big move and frankly, a bit scary. She said to pack my Norma-Tude and off I go! Thankfully, Lisa is still connected and Rafter L is where I live.  I will continue to do what I do best, be sassy and insightful. I hope that everyone finds all the sites easily so I can continue to make people smile. ~respectfully submitted, Norma Norma’s New Facebook Norma’s New Instagram